Mike’s Meandering Mumbles

I always thought he was dotty but I was not prepared for the strength of feeling against me.

Well, as can be imagined my life is much improved now Alice is back. Mind you I had to polish myself up a bit after the casual bachelor existence of the last couple of weeks. And of course the casual fast food also has to go.

A pity really as I kept up my exercises and so have been much improving my fitness, and yet I am still capable 0f showing my feelings for Alice.

She has been incredibly busy in the Philippines arranging the sale of pigs and their transport to the new owners.

And, quite important this, getting our granddaughter to cook the lechon for our grand niece’s first birthday. A sterling (or peso?) job was done by Dawn and the birthday was enjoyed by all.

Mind you, it has been a strain for Alice to do all the selling and also get our new land sorted, while also wearing the latest fashions and looking good. Mind you the latest shoes, although obviously long lasting, do not look the most comfortable. Which rather explains her quickly heading off to the reflexology path to ease the tootsies.

The important thing is that she is back and with the profits of the sales we are having a slight problem with our usual banking arrangement, normally far safer than putting the cash into those damn bankers’ hands, so I  suspect we may have to raise the roof.

And based on that I have booked the restaurant to celebrate the return of the beloved Alice.

Work has really been a pain recently and without Alice with me I have had to consider options to recover. A quiet drink at home seemed favourite until I remembered that I had promised not to open the next barrel until she got back.

The bars around here are either in hotels and very expensive or rather more alternative and less likely to attract a person with my cultured viewpoint. No, thinking about it more, I am able to try anywhere. Culture? What is that to bother me?

But I meander as I so often do. Really I want to complain of my work and must warn you that it is slightly NSFW.

I was surprised yesterday how warm it was walking on the Corniche at 7:30 in the morning. Clearly winter is passing and, in view of what it has done to my drink supplies, that is a wonderful thought.

I have to say my sense of humour may be flawed but after all . . .

However to prove my goodwill I show something below that I find of use when the prostrate is being particularly troublesome.

After walking in the Corniche yesterday morning, which is nowhere near as much fun as doing it in company with Alice, I took the usual bath to prevent these aging bones locking up. A great relaxer of course and giving me a certain amount of time to daydream about our enjoying tea together and our little chats that we enjoy so much.

I cannot forget the light she brought into my life and this only makes me miss her more. But next Wednesday evening she flies back, and how pleased I will be.

Never mind, I do have certain little things to cheer me while she is getting things sorted out in the Phils. We need it very stable there as next year we could be retired and the additional income from the farm will be a great help.

But that reminds me I had to rush from the bath, once I had tracked down  my note to myself; another sign of old age. And is that so bad? I remember why I had to move fast and get to the restaurant for the excitement of a Friday lunch out without my wife, and in the perfect place it would seem.

Naturally I would wear my special hat that protects from unwanted intrusions into my brain as I move through my own special world. I really do not want reality to intrude too strongly, the interest in life would be much diminished if my own wonderland was not always before me. How pleasant it is to decide to look on the brighter side of life and avoid allowing the more depressing things that happen to get too deeply into one’s thoughts. Then one can then allow the mind to spread in all directions that are full of interesting things and avoid the horrid. And I must always remember that . . .

Now that I am so happy to be a grandfather I wish I had the sense that this one has!

As we start work quite early and it’s an hours drive the view as one gets close to the construction site is quite interesting. Returning home I am somewhat bleary eyed but I did spot this while retaining presence of mind to grab the camera. And have been insulting the rich ever since in the hope that this will ensure I become rich. I am not wholly convinced that it will work, but hey, it’s worth a try surely.

So the need for reciting the mantra “the rich are crap” has decreased the time available for other matters such as being lonely without Alice. But I do feel that loneliness and sadness. Much as this young lady does, finding the JD is all gone is so upsetting, and even more so on a Friday when the only legal alcohol shop is closed.

And it’s not just the missing her, I also have chores to do when she is not around. Not something I am good at otherwise and obviously this lady’s husband is very similar.

I did think of trying to bring some of the joy Alice surrounds us with into my empty and dreary existence while she is away. I thought of dancing lessons since she is so good and enjoys it, while so far I have never had the ability. however I do not see that I am gaining much, to be honest, and also am not convinced that she will be greatly impressed by my new talents.

So my doom and gloom remains and I spend my time finding ways to abuse people.

As I recall Country Joe sang on an early album, and I am again suffering from them as Alice is back at home selling the latest batch of pigs and checking out our choice of next car, not to be  changed for a while but we wanted to see the trade in value of our Pajero.  As food and drink are my solace in her absence I am afraid the diet will not do so well for a fortnight. It can be expensive as well, since I am hardly the best in the kitchen and do not have the abilities of the tele chefs, even if there are times when I swear as much.

I seem to remember actually getting a comment the last time I mumbled about finger food, and who knows, maybe I’ll get another. However I am a dab hand at the wine opening and this is something needed often as the glass seems to evaporate so quickly in the heat of the Gulf, perhaps I should stick with caviar and vodka, although I prefer Stolichnaya myself. Which is a bit of a pity as I have absolutely no idea as to how it is pronounced in spite of having drunk it for many years. So you see, I am not as hidebound as I may appear, in spite of my liking for Jack I am prepared to experiment on occasion.

Of course a big beer can be as satisfying sometimes, especially when the heat is oppressive and a cooling draught is required. And for those who wonder there is a justification for the excess of alcohol that I occasionally imbibe. It is just to ensure that I am in no fit state to chase after any of the plenitude of charming Asian ladies working in the Gulf. I have the best and do not want to sample from the rest.

In the interest of cutting down on typing, I was going to call this “Delayed VD Notes” but suddenly realised the significance that could be wrongly inferred.

But, that said, I was pretty down after my first wife died so many years ago and it was some time before I met Alice and life turned around. But it did, and dramatically, and even after 19 years of marriage we still hold hands. In fact we have decided that we are soppy buggers and will just have to accept that.

I know I have used the accompanying picture previously, but the fact is that when we are together the world is a much more wonderful place.

So naturally we went out to dinner on the 14th. As Alice had already packed my small digital camera to use in the Phils, where she is now for a couple of weeks, I used hers. Only to find all the lovely VDay photos were stamped 10/2/2010. Rather irritating! But we made a good showing for the predinner glass, even if my dieting is not reflected in a much reduced waistline yet.

And of course Alice looked stunning. I never understand those who sit next to their ladies, how much better to look directly at them and see their beauty.

And how nice it would be if I was as elegant as Alice, so we made a couple with an even better showing, but still that below shows how I think of us.

Since the big belly problem and the emergency operation in Kuala Lumpur I have not been able to do strenuous exercise, not that I am downhearted about that! But I do struggle to lose the flab and ridiculous amount of excess weight I carry.

Recently Alice and some of her tennis buddies went to lunch at a Noodle House that had Malaysian Lamb Curry on the menu. Having spent so long in Malaysia this was a plus as far as I was concerned. So over my lovely 2 day weekend we did some walking on the Corniche, rather colder at present than might be expected, as one can see.

Alice naturally has no weight problems in view of her tennis and the fact that her buddies have asked for a bit of training in the belly dancing she learnt in Malaysia and Singapore. In fact the “gang” were recently out buying the necessary belts. A few husbands should be getting a surprise shortly. But I struggle and I do not find the exerciser a great deal of fun, even though I have worked out my own personal exercise  routine on it.

But to return to the post walking time, a treat was needed. Usually we go to the posher restaurants, all in hotels, as not only are they a shade more upmarket but they can sell wine. But when one is struggling to lose weight a trip elsewhere is recommended.

And so I agreed to go to have some Malaysian Lamb Curry, which I have to say was delicious. You can clearly see the extended stomach here, which confirms the need for reduction.

But what an unfortunate result, next day I had the trots and a visit to the pharmacy was necessary to get the old respected remedy, imodium, into action. Mind you, the pharmacist was a charmer.

My wife was not wholly satisfied with the first design of the pig farm and has had some remodelling set in place.

We cannot be there all the time but my mother-in-law is a hard taskmaster and capably supervises the workforce, getting them up and working at an early hour.

The workforce are pretty dedicated but the blazing sun does lead to a somewhat unusual lack of personal protective equipment, as safety wear seems to be called here. But no matter, I can stand and provide that necessary musical cheer as they work and wait for the essential delivery of liquid refreshment to enable them to carry on at maximum efficiency.

And they all adore my animals and so are keen to prepare the new, improved home for them all. Which is just as well since I should hate to think that I was employing unionists or others who might decide that the thinking and design work that my charming wife was putting into the project was not sufficiently like manual labour to impress them.

But we all know that in fact she is the one who ensures progress and final perfection.

I am so damn busy that I can’t keep up, so a few moments studying ball movement is a great relief. Clearly I have solved the perpetual motion puzzle.

I really dislike the Working Saturdays that come round so often. From that first unfortunate encounter, during the morning constitutional, onwards one is aware of the horrors of the day to come.

The only way to alleviate the concern and prepare for the rest of the day is to have a spot of Stoli with the breakfast. For the rest of the day one has to get by on the correct supplement to one’s coffee, and this choice seems fairly apposite.

There certainly are no delights at work and I sometimes feel that it would have been better to have made a different choice of career path. But in fact I seemed to have drifted into this one and now have the deserved dudgery arising from it. The circularity of climbing the never ending upwards steps would be soul destroying if it wasn’t for the fear of the pursuer.

But as we all know fear is a good goad although, to be totally honest, if I had the sound advice below earlier things may have been very different in my life.

I understand that UK has finally finished repairs and come out of recession. Good old Gordon can now concentrate on his looming defeat in the coming polls. But I care not, although I do care that tomorrow will see the latest cash injection into my account.

A handful of gold is always a pleasure and, unlike a pirate, I will be spending it rather than burying it. We need some new furniture and a trip to IKEA might be on our minds.

Or perhaps I should consider that a spot of interesting booze is an entitlement after so long adhering to a diet.

Or perhaps a trip to the centre of the universe, or was that the “Big Apple”, might be in order, but after reflection and close inspection of the map provided I realised I would certainly get us both completely lost and that staying in continents that we understood, Asia, Africa and Europe, was probably for the best.

So I feel that spending the odd shekel that I may have is better spent on the farm and my delightful pigs. There is so much pleasure to be derived by seeing them looking over the fence as one comes up to them. And the funny little wrinkle of the nose (snout?) as they recognise me is something to be savoured.

Sometimes I think that, should I have any, my readers cannot know the difficult circumstances under which we strive to record our lives. I accept that we do get the rewards of seeing other parts of the world, without actually having to invade them, which is rather nice. But there are certain drawbacks, naturally.

Toilets can be rather different to western ideals, which may explain my reversion to them in my mumbles on an irregular but not overlong schedule. Mosquitoes can be a pain, but my personal hatred, shared by Winston Smith of course, is rats. So naturally I hate to open the computer casing.

Then there is the problem of work, which can often make one’s brain and eyeballs hurt. And much to my regret I have never been able to get a doctor’s note that has the sublime nature of one brought to me in my early days. I may have been naive back then but it did not convince me that the teaboy was incapacitated by a work injury.

Thinking of teaboys and snacks, we have rather more choice than may be found in the west. Not all of these are exactly to my taste though I have to admit. However as the past mumbles show there are  better meals available if you look around. And so I have just made the booking for the Valentine Dinner that we always enjoy. Whether we are romantic or soppy I am not sure. But we enjoy our life together and with such meals how can we not enjoy.